My 20’s are nearly over and I still don’t know what to do with my life
I hate that I’m writing this post (and living up to Millennial stereotypes), but here goes nothing…
I can’t be the only 29 year old feeling this way.
Billy Eilish is 17.
Post Malone is is 24.
Heck, Edward Rutledge was 26 when he signed the Declaration of Independence.
I keep reminding myself age is just a number.
But eventually these numbers run out.
Our culture worships success, but you don’t have to
I purposely used Billy Eilish and Post Malone at the beginning of this post to highlight our culture’s obsession with success (especially success at a young age).
They are the exception. Most of us will toil away at making a life for ourselves. We’ll experience small wins here and there, some setbacks, some heartbreaks. We’ll move forward knowing standing still is not an option.
However, every day we are bombarded by this idea that we need to become successful to be worth something. Our culture pushes this idea that our lives aren’t worth it if we don’t have 100,000 followers, or live in a fancy house, or win six Grammys.
We worship others’ success but lament at our lack of it. Instead of our wins becoming something worth celebrating, we’re left feeling short changed. Because we can’t stop comparing ourselves to others.
And again, we think all of it isn’t enough.
New number, who dis?
The 2010’s we’re good to me.
I graduated college. Married a beautiful human. Created two more beautiful humans. Worked for two great companies. Started my own business. Expressed myself creatively.
I learned. I grew. I matured… And yet it still doesn’t feel like I’ve done enough.
But, I’m happy.
I’m happy that I don’t have it all figured out. I’m happy that I’m not stuck in a drab cubicle counting down the hours. I’m happy that I get to spend time each day with my kids and work on projects I’m excited about.
Yes, in a few months I turn 30, and yes, I don’t technically have a career, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten more comfortable with the big ol’ I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-my-life hanging over my head.
I’ve learned that no matter what I do, it’ll never seem like enough. So instead of focusing on what could be, I focus on what is.
I’ll be honest: I needed to write this post for myself as a reminder to keep focusing on where I am now.
Maybe you’re pushing 30, or 40, or 80 and wonder if the next decade of your life will amount to anything.
I’ll take a gamble and say ‘yes it will.’